


Botticelli Farmer Realness

by slampora



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Multi, also has Lev in a featured non-speaking role, these boys are so dumb i love them, this is like... borderline crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:19:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7459224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slampora/pseuds/slampora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small fill for SASO16 bonus round 4! The prompt was basically all the weird things people call Harry Styles, including but not limited to, hypoallergenic pillow, tiny ballerina with noodle limbs, baby frog, and sexy dumpster teen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Botticelli Farmer Realness

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to my friend Izzi, who has called Harry Styles a river goblin many, many times.

“Bro, have you ever looked at Akaashi?” Bokuto asked. Kuroo looked over at him from where he sat on the floor. 

“Yeah man, I have in fact looked at our boyfriend,” Kuroo responded. 

“No like, really like, looked at him. He’s like a gentle river goblin,” Bokuto said. Kuroo thought about it for a moment, looking over at where Akaashi stood. They were in the gym for extra practice, but it had been so hot that day that they decided to take a break. Akaashi was talking to Hinata and Lev about something, and Tsukishima was sitting on the floor a few feet away from Bokuto and Kuroo. 

“Dude, I totally see that. He’s like a river goblin but also like a leafy plant man with flowers in his hair,” Kuroo said. Bokuto nodded wildly at that. 

“I love him so much he’s like, like this abstract collection of thought and movement bound together to form the being that is Akaashi Keiji,” Bokuto was waving his hands in the air as he spoke. 

“What if he was just a gentle forest spirit who got lost while wandering his home, and he ended up here in Tokyo playing volleyball because some kind human family took him in while he was just a youth,” Kuroo mused. He leaned over and rested his head on Bokuto’s shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tsukishima shudder. 

“Oh totally! Like there he was, a tiny little river goblin, minding his own business, when he had to leave his home due to deforestation. And now here he is, a tiny little river goblin who is amazing at volleyball and is also our boyfriend,” Bokuto wrapped his arm around Kuroo’s waist. 

“I love our river goblin boyfriend. He’s like a block of soft tofu,” Kuroo said as he snuggled into Bokuto’s side. 

At that, Tsukishima stood up. “You two are so fucking weird. Also, Akaashi is like an inch shorter than both of you he isn’t tiny. Nothing you’re saying makes any sense at all. Why are you like this?” 

Bokuto and Kuroo looked up at him then. They thought about what he said for a moment. 

“Anyway, I love Akaashi so much. He’s my favorite spider legged jelly bean of all time,” Bokuto said. Kuroo nodded in agreement. 

“He’s like a perfectly poured iced latte with the exact right amount of whipped cream on top.” Kuroo continued snuggling into Bokuto. 

Akaashi noticed the commotion that was happening on the other side of the gym. “What do you think Tsukishima is yelling at them for?” Hinata asked. 

Akaashi sighed. “They’re probably just being weird again.” Lev and Hinata laughed at that. 

“Those guys are so strange, but they’re also so cool!” Hinata screeched. Akaashi smiled fondly and looked over to his boyfriends cuddling on the gym floor. 

“They really are strange. They’re these two lampposts made out of candy corn, it’s the best” Akaashi said. “I really love them a lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love Harry Styles and I love Akaashi Keiji so much... so so much
> 
> my [tumblr](http://bokuroho.tumblr.com)


End file.
